Why you should stop trying to change your loved ones


Are you always wanted to be with your favorite person? Or does not get sufficient time to be with them? But there are also certain conditions which lets you maintain a distance with your loved ones. One among them is the act of your efforts to change your loved ones. Stop doing that as it will cost your happy relationship with the person.

Changing the way you want to change your loved ones is one of the biggest mistakes you always do. People usually fix some ideals with them and want other people around them to follow. Normally, they judge instead of trying to understand other’s condition. 

So, just relax for a moment and think if you are perfect with yourself too. Ofcourse, no one is perfect. So, stop judging people and respect the differences to live them freely and happily. Just try to follow some simple steps in your routine life to show your actual concern for your loved one.

1.Understand the problems 

Arguing at the difficult situation is common. But it usually hurt afterwards, so try to avoid those situations. You can do that by understanding some simple facts. Try to know that the person you are about to argue may be grounded with their problems more. Or, they are trying to fix the problem without letting you get in trouble. Considering all the possible alternatives of the present situation will not let you in the aggressive part.

Understand the problems
Understand the problems

Just understand one thing that the person who really loves you will never hurt you intentionally. So, make sure to think twice before getting things on the table. Handle the situation calmly and concluding with a proper solution. Remember, an ideal bond is the one that mature well out of the difficult situation by forgetting the past the making the future beautiful. 

2. Love their uniqueness

With a very common fact of being unique, we all grow up. But, if we really make it a habit of thinking the same in our evryday’s life. Sometimes, it becomes easy for us to judge the people around us rather than taking the difficult path.

The path is to try to understand them and the reason for their various activities. Sometimes, you may feel irritated with the other’s behaviour but accepting your loved ones the way they are is the solution to many of your problems. 

Accept all the differences, respect it and show them that you actually care for them. Love their weirdness at times and tell their importance in your life occasionally. Do it all and all you get at least one person in your life who will stand by your side even in the worst situations.

3. Don’t compare 

Comparison is what makes a relationship more complex and sometimes ends it too. You should understand a little but important thing that everyone has gone through a different situations in their life. These unique situation makes them indeed a unique personality.

Don’t compare
Don’t compare

You can suggest something that doesn’t seems fine to you can’t make it a compulsion to follow. Thinking someone to perfect and stressing over to your loved ones is not justified at all.

Remember each one is trying to do their best. So, at least listening to them for once is worth to go for. Let them follow what they really wish for. 

4. Stop the ‘Blame’ game 

Normally, whenever we fight with our favorite people, we start the blame game. Blaming each other is the simplest thing we can ever do. But accepting mistakes on your part is much cooler than the previous option. Just accept your mistake and try to make it correct. 

The point is you will never be able to grow in any kind of relationship if you will be dominant and try the blame game. Accepting your mistake in the beginning may sound little annoying but you may sooner be appreciated for your growth and personal traits.

5. Appreciate the togetherness

You better know that you are not perfect as a person. But have your loved ones ever hurt you by making your weakness a point. If yes, then stopping given them back the same and if no, then trust me, you are the luckiest one. When the person with you doesn’t get offended by your mistakes, then they should be appreciated. 

You have two options in this situation, either figure out the mistakes of others and argue by making yourself on the top. Secondly, try to correct the mistake without letting them down. If the other person is also opting the second option, then you are one of the luckiest person to have them in your life. 

To know  more about accepting your loved ones without changing them, you can also refer to:

  1. https://letsreachsuccess.com/2016/02/21/stop-trying-to-change-someone/
  2. https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/10-reasons-stop-trying-change-someone-fiff/
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201402/5-things-try-giving-relationship

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